Suppose you walk away from someone and feel belittled, overlooked, and patronized. If they always point out your faults, if you are always reaching out, and if they seem competitive, they downplay your achievements or success. When they minimize your contributions and don’t see your value, if they have to one-up you or aren’t interested when it’s time to share your experience, there’s a good chance you are investing time in a toxic relationship.
Suppose you’re dealing with a toxic person. It doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person. They don’t know how to play well with others. Their world is all about them, and when you interrupt that perspective, they don’t handle it well. Toxic friendships can be emotionally draining and disadvantageous to your well-being and growth. Peace of mind is invaluable, and so is contentment. Suppose someone is making you feel like you’re not worth their time. Then, take that as an exit sign and back off from that person.
Spending time with those who see and appreciate you and what you offer would be best. No one else’s voice is more valuable than your own. However, keep things in perspective. A good challenge out of your comfort zone is one thing, but criticism at every turn is another. If you don’t feel grateful and encouraged for the advice or conversation from a relationship, then they aren’t your people. This person is not part of your tribe. It’s not a bad thing. There is no need to villainize anyone to justify parting ways.
You may not be their person either, and THAT’S OK! To maturely address relationships healthily, you must know everyone you meet or the families you are born into, which will not necessarily mean they will fit into your life at every stage and phase of your life. We will change as we grow and mature and go our way in life. Others will change as well. THAT’S OK, too!
What’s the practical way to deal with toxic relationships?
Get honest.
See people for who they are and know who you are.
Stop being passive.
Passivity equates to cowardice if it harms you or others emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Say it and mean it.
You can have an upfront conversation about how your needs have changed.
Stop apologizing means stop people-pleasing.
Don’t feel the need to defend your choice. It’s yours to have. How others will deal with your boundaries is not your responsibility. Be respectful and kind. The rest is their responsibility. Resist the urge to be an emotional enabler.
Distance YOUrself
It’s time to start putting distance between you and the toxicity. Everyone should have the opportunity to feel joy in life—freedom and peace of mind. It’s time to step back when people disrupt that in your life.
Living in a relationship that is bringing you down is not how you should live life. It’s okay to let people go who aren’t doing you any good.
